Hazey
by orphann-account
Summary: Sniper doesn't know how mics work and also growls everything he says. Scout is the unfortunate recipient of all said growls and gets distracted during battle.


i just. thought of this one a while ago. sniper growls almost everything into his mic, and oh lord those domination lines. mmm. but the whole team is Shook, i just wrote about scout bc he my boi. and hes probably the only one who would get so distracted he would jerk off during battle, let's be real. anyway enjoy! also title from the glass animals song bc its good.

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Scout hates being the youngest member of his team. For many reasons, really. He gets teased a lot, for one. Another is most everyone looks down on him, physically or verbally.

But most of all, it's the fucking technology.

He knows how to work the mics they're given, and any other electronics, because it's not even that hard to operate them. But apparently it IS that hard.

He's invented his own game called, Take a Shot Every Time Someone Fucks Up Their Mic Settings. He's gotten black-out drunk before because of it, and it's not great when he manages to do it before they've even started the round. Trying to shoot straight is hard, trying to shoot straight while smashed is impossible.

And of course he's always the one they turn to for help, even if it's literally just, "turn them off and on again", and they're so shocked when it works every. Damn. Time. It must just be because they have the smaller mics and their old, weak eyes can't see the buttons, but it's probably just because they're old.

Scout's generalizing here. Spy seems to understand how they work, probably because he has to know everything. Engineer does because he's good with that technological crap. But there are a few repeat offenders (cough Sniper cough) who can't seem to understand the difference between the permanent turn-on button and the temporary turn-on button, leading to constant annoyances during matches, which is definitely how Scout found himself in this situation.

He's sitting in a secluded area of the map, sweating buckets and hand pressed desperately against his crotch. He's so hard. And he knows exactly how this started.

Before the match began, he checked everyone's earpieces to make absolutely sure no one's was on permanent turn-on. Well, he thought he checked everyone's. The siren went off and they were released from the base, and there was a lot of yelling so he didn't notice it at first.

At first.

Once he was far ahead of everyone and couldn't hear their cries, he hears loud feedback over his mic-

"Let's have a go at it!"

After wincing at the volume, he hits the temporary turn-on button for his mic and growls, annoyed, "Snipes, for the last freakin' time, hit the temp button, NOT the permanent button."

"Right, sorry," comes a slightly embarrassed Australian voice, then silence.

Scout sighs in relief and continues to the point, mind almost immediately forgetting about the incident as he rounds a corner and runs into- well, himself. He goes into attack mode and shoots a couple rounds at his double, then whips out his frying pan and starts whacking him. His double dodges the shots and whips out his own weapon, the metal bat, and starts attacking back.

The frying pan and metal bat clang together as they struggle for dominance, but they can't even seem to hit each other as their weapons keep clashing with each other. Scout is struggling to land an actual hit on the other's arm when he hears a sudden, "Engie, there's a spy somewhere 'round ya," then, "I'm gunnin' for ya, ya mongrels!" through his headset.

The Australian distracts him long enough for Scout's double to smack him in the stomach, and Scout goes down quick, one hand on his now bruised abdomen and the other holding the frying pan above him to ward off any more blows. The other Scout can't seem to land another hit and he catches his breath before hitting his mic button, "Snipes! Mic!" as his situation calls for briefness.

"Sorry, sorry," then silence. Scout groans, then stands back up, waving his pan wildly at the other, now with anger to fuel him. He manages a hit on his double's arm for his passion, and the double cries out and swings wildly, catching Scout in the side of his head in surprise. He goes down hard, vision spinning as he sees his pan clattering away from him. He tries to get up and retrieve it, but a wave of nausea hits him, and then a metal bat hits him again. He blacks out.

And he wakes up in respawn, another wave of nausea washing over him before he collects himself and readies to go outside again.

"Doc, there's a Medic/Heavy pair comin' up on ya right, be careful."

And then, more quietly-

"Now that was a proper bloody rootin'."

Fucking. Sniper. Again.

Scout was about to say something definitely not PG-rated, but then, the half whisper half mumble thing Sniper does floors him, and he flushes. What the fuck?

He's trying to put himself together to say something when a whisper of, "Bloody bogan," comes through his headset.

He bites down hard on his lip as his brain starts thinking of different contexts in which Sniper would say those things, and then promptly stops when he realizes he's fantasizing about his teammate.

He takes a deep breath, then stutters into the mic, "S-Snipes, I told you t-to use the right freakin' button."

"A' course, sorry, mate," Sniper mumbles back before turning his mic off again.

A jolt goes through Scout at the words, and he grabs a water bottle from his locker to splash on his face to put himself together. "Come on, champ, you got this," he murmurs to himself before leaving spawn again, water droplets spraying behind him as he sprints back to where he was when he lost the fight to the other Scout.

He really tries to concentrate on getting back to the point, but he can't stop thinking about the Australian growling into his ear while they-

"Freakin'- great," Scout interrupts himself as he exits a tunnel and finds himself face-to-face with an enemy Heavy/Medic pair. Fuck.

"I'd love to chat, fellas, but I gotta run," he shoots them a wink before speeding off, dodging bullet-fire as he sprints in some direction that isn't toward the pair. Gotta get back to the point, he can make it-

"Pyro, can you get the Spy headed my way- yeah, him, thanks. See, I used the temporary button this time, Scout," the Australian's mumbles come through, the last word laced with a thick layer of sarcasm. It's his name being mumbled that really does it.

A shiver runs through his body as he dashes off to a secluded corner, and that's how he ended up here, realizing what the shiver really meant and pressing a hand to his no reason boner through his pants.

He rubs hard, weeks of tension letting itself out as he himself lets out a groan, collapsing to the ground with his hand firmly attached to his groin. There's a pressure that can be let up if he just undoes his pants, but he can't even manage that, he's so hard.

He thinks about Sniper's grumbling voice as a drop of sweat runs down his face, and he whines, jerking his hips against his hands- fuck, wait, no, he can't cum in his pants like a horny teenager, thinking about Sniper bending him over and growling into his ear-

Scout pants as he undoes his fly, working as quickly as possible and fumbling in the process, every brush of his own hand against his cock straining through his pants making him even harder and more desperate- and he gets it undone, and nearly cries out in relief when he settles his hand around his own cock and starts jerking. He doesn't even care about the too-much friction of his bandages against his dick, desperation taking over his mind and filling it with lewd images.

Sniper grasping Scout's cock and jerking it hard, leaving Scout squirming- Sniper bending him over right in the middle of battle and taking him, squeezing Scout's cock ruthlessly as he does so- him sucking Sniper off during the battle, both Sniper's hands on his rifle but his hips are driving against Scout's face as he mumbles filthy shit to him-

Scout grasps at a box next to him as he moans, Sniper's low, growling voice filling his thoughts as he gets closer and closer, hand a blur on his dick-

"I reckon you're gonna get real used to lookin' up at me," Sniper's voice filters through Scout blocking out whatever's coming through his headset, and Scout claps a hand over his mouth as he yells Sniper's name and cums all over his hand.

He pants, coming down from his high, then slaps his non-cum-covered hand against his face. While he was jerking off thinking about Sniper, they lost 2 points. Fuck. He stands up, legs wobbly for a few seconds, then wipes his hand on the nearest wall. Not hygienic, but hey, it's the middle of the battle, who cares?

He stumbles back out to the battlefield, whipping out his gun and about to sprint, then turns off his headset completely and runs into the battle guns blazing.

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and then scout wouldnt talk to sniper for like 20 weeks lmao. also tumblr is .com if u have any questions, comments, concerns,


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